Friday, April 30, 2010

Five Stages Of Joe's Morning Grief

My 8 year old, Joe, has my genes . . . the bad ones.

On the top of the list is the “struggling to get out of bed in the morning gene”. Seriously, the little guy has a hard time and I feeeeel his pain. It doesn’t matter how early he goes to bed, he finds it very hard to motivate himself to move out of his cozy cocoon and face the harsh reality of the cold world.

But I have noticed a pattern in his wake up routine. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

On my initial contact I yell, “Time to get up, Jo Jo!”

His response- Denial. He actually says, “This can’t be, it’s too early. Wh--y?”

Next, I approach his room, flip on the light. “Come on Joe. You don’t want to be late.”

His response- Anger. “No! I don’t want to get up. No! I’m not getting up.” He says this
automatically as if from memory. I ignore. It will pass.

My next tactic is a little harsher. I push open the curtains and pull back the covers exposing his little body to the chill in the air (before you call Child Services you must know our house is always set at a toasty 70+).

His Response-Bargaining. “Just five more minutes, please. I promise I will get up in five minutes.”

Then the big one, I toss his clothes on his head. This is a little mean but I kinda find it funny.

His response- Depression- “Sto--p Mooooom, I can’t get up. I‘m soooo tired. I want to stay in bed all day,” he says in a mournful voice, which sounds vaguely familiar.

Finally, I push his clothes off his head and pull him up by his arms. I usually have to say something like “You are going to miss ESPN’s top ten countdown.”

His response- Acceptance. “Ok—ay, I’m up,” he says as he stumbles off the bed, and down the hall, rubbing his head as he bumps into a chair, then a dresser.

The entire time I want to grab him toss him back in bed snuggle with him and say, “I know how you feel.”

Poor Joe has my affliction. You should see what my husband has to do to get me out of bed. On second thought, it’s not pretty.

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